Do you like boats?
I do. I’ve learned over the years though, that what I like about them is their beauty. How did I learn that?
I learned it by actually buying four boats. I learned that owning a boat is a royal pain in the ass and that building one is not practical. I’ve learned that restoring one is a money pit.
It started with a desire to own a wooden canoe. I wanted one for years but could never afford one. Finally, the dream came true. I bought a large square stern Grand Laker made by Indians (Indians who spoke French) in Canada.
I still have it. It’s very beautiful, with white cedar ribs and cane seats, and long clean lines. It sits on sawhorses in my garage. I no longer own a vehicle on which to hoist it. Even if I did, I don’t know that I’d go to the trouble of performing the hoisting maneuvers anymore.
Why not Mr. Don? It’s your dream boat.
- Because the dang thing is impossible to keep in one place if there is even the slightest breeze. It’s high sides act like sails. One constantly drifts unless anchored. It has even pulled the anchor along in a stiff breeze.
- Because you have to sit in the middle (where there is no seat) to prevent the bow from rising two feet out of the water and ruining the beautiful appearance of a canoe gliding on the water.
- Because the nearest lake that is not a threat to life and limb from power boats and jet skiers is two hours away.
The next two boats were “projects”. You know, the kind of projects that one undertakes to satisfy the urge to be a craftsman. To re-create beauty from that which is in horrible, misused condition. By working wood and finish into a piece of utilitarian art. Or to adjoin parts and pieces from a kit into a homogeneous, glistening form which in the end, is a beautiful, waterworthy, wooden boat. The intent of course, the vision, is to have others then oogle over your creation and craftsmanship…to have created something so beautiful and rare that others stop you to inquire “hey, that’s beautiful. Did you build that boat”.
Those two projects cost about $4000 in the end and never amounted to a usable boat. One in fact, the kit, went in the trash. The other, the restoration, will soon be given away or cut into pieces and burned if I can’t find a taker.
I have a fine wife. She has tolerated the above insanities among others which have cost far less.
The last boat is a sixteen foot outboard which sits in the mountains of North Georgia near a large lake. That boat was my wife’s dream boat. It is old, built in 1972. It is in good condition though. That is because some other sap restored it as his project and then sold it to me. Not considering his time, he probably made money on the deal. Considering his time, he lost a few thousand. Most people who get the afore mentioned urges to create or restore boats forget that time is money too.
Anyway, we have not used that boat in three years. I simply grew tired of hauling it to the boat ramp, wrestling it into and out of the water, and scooting around the same lake weekend after weekend until I had seen every cove ten times and caught a disappointingly small number of fish. Plus, I despise the smell of gasoline from the two containers by the motor. In a small old motor boat, that is part of the experience. My wife though, enjoyed the experience of being driven about on the water, having nothing to do with the difficulties of getting there.
And so, I have come to learn the pleasure of boats is in observing their beauty. Most often as they sit still in the water, or slowly glide along with almost no wake…their reflections gleaming below them. My father used to sit on the balcony of a rented vacation condo overlooking Destin’s harbor in Florida and watch boats for hours at a time. That is what I intend to do with boats from now on…watch them. I can truly enjoy them that way.
If you get the urge, you can bid on this little ACEO card at ebay and have a little boat of your very own…just to watch.
