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Category Archives: Restaurants and Such

French Fry Watch

28-Dec-07

We have a bunch of crows in our neighborhood that wake me up every morning. I’m not appreciating that fact right now because they usually start cawing about an hour or two before I intend to get up.

This has set me to paying attention to crows a bit. I’ve never really watched them much.

Not far from me is a McDonalds…the one that can never get the tea order correct.
I was sitting in the parking lot enjoying my items from the dollar menu…and lo! I spotted a Crow waiting for a french fry.

How do I know he was waiting for a french fry? Because I tossed one out the window and he immediately swooped down and flew off with it.

It suited my mind at the time to believe I had communicated with the Crow in some sort of mental stream of silent man-to-bird consciousness, discerning that he wanted a french fry. And thus I gave to the Crow what he so longed after, fulfilling my repressed feelings of wanting to commune with nature on a level that our Native American brethren must have commanded when they lived here alone on this continent, in the wilderness, centuries ago.

That of course is B.S.
Truth be told, I could have thrown a five pound chuck roast out the window and he would have tried to fly off with it as well. Crows will eat anything.

But hey…it makes for a good story doesn’t it?

Also filed in ACEO Art Cards, Animals, Birds and Such, Landscapes, Nature, Stories | | Comments (4) »

Maine Lobster Roll

11-Sep-07

New England is synonymous with Lobster. Thus, when traveling to New England, particularly the Maine coast, one must partake of lobster in some form or another in order to make the trip complete.

I did so three different ways. The first of which was the “lobsta roll”. Never having heard of such, I was intrigued and could not resist trying one.

By the way, lobsta and lobstah are two ways to spell the local pronunciation of lobster. Some of the advertising and signage even spells it that way. I suspect because they realize they have enhanced the word with their own regional dialect and know that we visitors find it amusing. More power to ‘em if it sells more lobsta!

In Portland there is a lovely waterfront and we found ourselves at the Portland Lobster Company for our first dinner of the trip. It’s a laid back dockside restaurant. If you click the link above, you will see in the photo precisely the position where I sat and ate at the dockside bar overlooking the water.

What I have sketched is the infamous Lobsta Roll, typical of every coastal restaurant we visited in Maine.

Take your garden variety Kroger brand large hot dog bun, lightly toasted…
Add mayo, lettuce and buttered lobsta. (I would like to note that the Portland Lobster Company specifically states on their menu that the lobsta meat is “Fresh picked meat from a one pound lobster”. I suppose there is something special about it being a one pound lobster, though I can’t imagine what. But hey, I’m from Georgia. What the hell do I know?)
Add to this a pile of french fries, a tiny cup of very tasty cole slaw, a lemon wedge and a spare cup of mayo…
Place it all in a little stiff paper “basket” with the lobsta roll in its own little stiff paper wrapper to capture drips while eating.
Price this at $16.99 (which in my book is seventeen friggin dollars!) and you have the most expensive meal you can eat from a stiff paper basket.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. A man's gotta make a livin'. So I don't fault anybody for the price. Lobsta stuff is expensive. And to their credit, it's a lot less expensive in Maine than where I live here in the deep South, and much fresher. A lobsta roll can not be found in the Deep South because:

It wouldn’t be fresh…
It would cost $35!

So there you have it, my first meal in Maine.

I might add that just prior to the $17 lobsta roll I had a cup of lobsta bisque at $7.99 (eight friggin dollars in my book!) which did not fill me up. Thus the lobsta roll was a necessary addition for a weary and hungry traveler. I also had very good iced tea which I think was $2.

For those of you keeping score, that totals up to $27 for my first Maine meal and it was all served on stiff paper with plastic forks and those little napkins that are more akin to toilet paper than napkins. And of course you pick it all up yourself at the “pick-up window” when they set off your little hand held buzzer which is of course a molded red plastic lobster, I mean lobsta, that buzzes and flashes.

The tea refills were free though. I refilled often. It made me feel like I was getting a real value for my money.

I’m not complaining here. The food was very, very good and tasty. The cost was just a big surprise that’s all. Go to Maine prepared to spend money on food. LOTS of money.

Of note here is that my dear wife ate dinner as well. So, add in her $22 total (she had clam chowder and fish and chips, thus saving $5) and you have dinner for two totaling $49 and there was no alcohol purchased. We seriously considered alcohol after realizing what we just spent on dinner.

It was a chilling experience for I feared by the look in my wife’s eyes that we may well be eating at McDonald’s the rest of the trip. Clever cajoling and encouragement to go shopping eased the pain for her though and we dined Maine style for the rest of our adventures throughout the Maine coast. What else can you do eh? It’s a vacation. Gotta enjoy it.

On a Side Note

It came to mind that I need to introduce a new dining sensation here in the Deep South…the Catfish Roll.

Let’s see…the menu can read…

“Catfish meat picked from a fresh 35lb. catfish caught in the cold, deep waters at the foot of the dam on Lake Sidney Lanier.”

A catfish is about as ugly as a lobster so it might just work. I wouldn’t get away with a $17 price tag though. $5.99 maybe…hmmm.

More tomorrow…

Also filed in Foods, Stories, Travel Sketches | | Comments (3) »

Johnny Rockets

18-Aug-07

We visited Johnny Rockets today for a lunch burger.

We were seated in a two person booth. These are itty-bitty booths. Once seated, there is room for a burger a drink and your elbows. Not much else. That is because of the assorted paraphernalia which joins you for your meal.

There is a nickel jukebox on each table which takes up a fair chunk of space. I started pumping nickels into it and choosing songs, my wife anxiously looking for nickels of her own so she could start pumping them in as well.

When our waitress finally showed up, we were informed that the “jukeboxes were out”. Not being entirely well versed in “waitress-ese”, I took that to mean they didn’t work. She confirmed my assumption and made no offer to reimburse my twenty-five cent contribution to their establishment.

Of course music was playing in the place, loudly, and oddly the same tunes listed in the jukebox as available for a nickel.

Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky. No signs stating the jukeboxes didn’t work. I lost twenty-five cents before they passed along the little tidbit of information and finally, by chance I reckon, I heard one of the songs I had selected.

Oh well. Live and learn eh? At the end of the day they probably empty the jukes and split the money. Or could be I’m the only boob in years that has ever put a nickel in the dang things anyway.

Along with the nickel stealer on the table were the ketchup and mustard bottles, a napkin holder, little stems with ads at the top plugging their most expensive burgers and milkshakes. Plus a little black thingy holding packets of those cancer causing sweeteners we all use. And a vase with red carnations…which was nice.

As we sat there, cramped and very close to all our table wear, I sketched the jukebox and a salt shaker. They were the only things far enough away for me to keep in focus.

Then the lights dimmed, a disco ball in the ceiling lit up and started slowly spinning, and all the staff marched into a line right beside us and started dancing to the BeeGees song which was just starting to play…even louder than normal. I stopped sketching and ate my french fries…the traditional appetizer of Johnny Rockets…as the Travolta wannabe’s strutted their stuff so close to me I could feel the swishes of air pass my face with every move.

The burger was excellent as usual but each time I eat at Johnny Rockets, I swear I shall not return. It’s the noise level and slow service and sneaky jukeboxes and other annoyances, which I forget about between visits. But, once a year or so, while running Saturday errands, I find myself saying to my wife “wanna go to Johnny Rockets?”

Upon exiting into the great outdoors I relished the lower volume of the parking lot and traffic noise. But sweat already forming on my brow, I missed the air conditioning inside the restaurant.

Life is a trade-off.

Also filed in Everyday Objects, Machines, Passing Time, Quick Sketches, Stories | | Comments (4) »

Geezer Wear

26-Apr-07

We went to O’Charley’s for dinner this evening and witnessed the latest fashion in Geezer Wear.

Yes, they were vivid blue.
Yes, they were medium brown.
Yes, the shorts were plaid.
Yes, he kept obsessively wetting his lower lip with his tongue.
Yes, my wife knows what to do if I ever dress like this.
Yes, my wife knows what to do if I ever start obsessively wetting my lower lip with my tongue.
Yes, she knows to make it look like an accident.

Also filed in Quick Sketches, Real People, Style | | Comments (2) »

Test for ADD

21-Apr-07

In an effort of self examination, I today tested myself to see if I had ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).

My wife and I attended the weekly “let’s go to IHOP for breakfast” meeting this morning and I took along my sketchbook for the test.

As you can see, I chose to sketch the condiments on the table. That’s the “I Sketch (and nod)” part, delineated at top-left by the arrow.

My wife, Leta, unknowing of my test, did her usual activity on this weekly occasion…she talked. That’s the “Leta talks” part, delineated by the arrow at mid-right and occupying all remaining space on the page.

I listed what she talked about whilst sketching the condiments. Thus confirming that I indeed do NOT have ADD.

If you throw in my ability to nod my head during these these two divergent, yet simultaneous activities, then certainly I would also have to be considered a Bona fied multi-tasker. Something heretofore only credited to the female gender.

This is of great relief to me since my dear wife is convinced I have ADD and can not walk and chew gum at the same time.

Next on the scientific agenda is a test to disprove the theory that I am only able to hear that which I desire to hear.

Also filed in Everyday Objects, Quick Sketches, Sketching and Drawing, Stories | | Comments (4) »

Get Twiggy Wid It

15-Apr-07

About two hours north of Atlanta, in the mountains, is a nice resort called the Brasstown Valley Resort. It’s a beautiful place for conferences, golf, company meetings…or just to get away for a long weeknd.

We go there for special occasions, usually for one reason…the Friday night seafood buffet.

Ever since I first visited the place, I loved the decor. It’s elegantly rustic. It reminds me of the upscale lodges the really wealthy people of the early 20th century used to retire to in the summers.

Throughout the lobby and grand dining room, they have wonderful rustic furniture made by Old Hickory Furniture. They also have a lot of unique, one-of-a-kind furniture pieces and picture frames.

I set about to document these picture frames. I try to get one down on paper each time I visit. I even made one a couple of years ago. I’ll write it up soon with some instructions on making it.

They are really beautiful in the right setting. The thing I like is that they are made by hand.

I purchased a 75 year old steelprint out of an old book on eBay. It’s an image of a family of beavers busily chewing twigs, downing trees, and building their lodge. That’s the image that resides in the twig frame I made. It hangs in my studio.

I couldn’t think of a more appropriate scene for framing with a twig frame.

Also filed in Building details, Design, Furniture, Hotels, Nature, Postcard Art, Style | | Comments (4) »

Mickey D’s in Need of Rocket Scientists

16-Nov-06

Here in the South, Mickey D’s faces a great challenge. This is a problem of epoch proportions. How to get un-sweet tea into a cup when a customer orders it.

I fear, after ten years or so of putting up with the associated problems of ordering un-sweet tea, that only Rocket Scientists will be able to lick this problem.

I have tried EMPHASIZING the “un” with accentuated diction, a tiny pause, and then adding “sweet tea”.
I have tried saying “UN sweetened tea…that’s tea with NO sugar”.
I have tried saying “tea with no sugar please”.
I have tried giving the manager flack at the store I frequent.
I have asked the pourers why they seem to always get it wrong.
I have considered ordering un-sweet tea by saying “I’m totally naked and I would like UN-sweet tea please”, in the hope of jostling the synapses of the workers into noticing what they are doing.

All to no avail. Eight times out of ten, I get sweet tea.

I now ask before leaving the pick-up window, “UN-sweet, right”? Eight times out of ten I hear “uh…UN sweet??” as the response. To top it all off, they always pour out the sweet tea and throw the cup in the trash! Then, in a fresh cup, with fresh ice, they pour up my order correctly…sometimes. That’s right friend, I said SOMETIMES.

The other night I ordered un-sweet tea.
I paid at the first window.
I drove to the second window.
As I was handed my cup I said “Un-sweet, right”?
“Oopsy! no that’s sweet tea sir. Did you order unsweet?”
“Yes.”

She then went through the ritual disposal of the sweet tea and proceeded to pour up another cup as I watched.
She again poured up SWEET TEA! She opened the window and handed me the cup.

I said “UN-sweet, right”?
She replied with a miffed expression, “I thought you said sweet tea”.

I said with a smile, “bless your heart sweety, you’re brain dead.”
She rolled her eyes and said, “I must be”.

Then, she very carefully disposed of the second sweet tea, and very carefully poured my un-sweet tea as I watched again.

She handed it to me with a smile and said “Now that one IS sweet tea, I promise.” (yes you read that correctly).

I said “thanks darlin’ ” and drove off in amazement.

Now, I know some of you are thinking…”hah! Dumb Southerners!” But please understand, it’s only the Micky D’s that seem to have this problem all across the South. All the other fast food chains I frequent get it right eight out of ten times. If it was simply an issue of “dumb Southerners”, then the problem would be rampant at all the fast food chains.

No my friends, there is something about Mickey D’s…something in another dimension perhaps…something only quantum physicists can pinpoint…something beyond the rest of us, that causes this phenomenon. I believe it is time McDonald’s hired a Corporate Rocket Scientist.

Also filed in Everyday Objects, Foods, Stories | | Comments (4) »