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Category Archives: Sports

American Racing Fan

10-Apr-07

“Hey baby. S-s-sorry to bother ya-you at work but I just ha-had to tell ya how m-much I love my new NASCAR ri-ridin’ mower. I picked it up tuh-today. An this official NASCAR pit boss wuh-wireless h-headset you bought me to go with it is gr-great! I’m ta-talkin’ to ya wi-with it right na-now while I’m mo-mowin’! Ain’t that suh-somethin’!”

“Wha zat? Yeah yeah, I got on my NASCAR shirt! Course I do! Yeah I got on the ye-yeller one so I won’t get h-hit out by the road…and my Ch-Chevy hat ta-too. I ta-tell ya I ain’t never enjoyed mowin’ the ya-yard ’till na-now. I shore do la-luuuuvv you b-baby…”

“Wha zat? C-course I luv you m-more than NA-NASCAR!”

“Wha zat? Yeah…we’ll go luh-look at the nuh-new Camaros th-this weeke-end. Huh? Well…yeeeah…I guess we’ll git ya-you a new ‘un.”

“Li-listen, I g-gotta go now, I wanna cuh-call Earl wh-while I’m mowin’…he’ll be sooooo juh-jealous! Bye-bye. Ka-kissy kissy to ya-you too sha-sugar.”

Click.

“Duh-Dang!…I knew they was a re-reason she ba-bought me this huh-headset. She wants a new da-dang Camaro!! Man, it d-don’t EVER st-stop! Spend, sp-spend, spend…Gotta call Earl.”

Beep…rinnnnng…rinnnnng…

“Hey? E-Earl? Zat Choo? He heeeeee heee! Guh-guess what I’m a da-doin? Naaaaw! Guh-Guess agin…”

Also filed in ACEO Art Cards, Cartoons, Gardening, Machines, Technology | | Comments (0) »

Fishing for Gifts?

14-Dec-06

More online Christmas shopping has led me to consider the lowly fish. Fish have a hard life. Used to be a fish could swim around a lake and hardly ever see a worm on a line as long as he stayed away from the banks. Fishermen were on their own when it came to finding them. Really good fishermen, who fished the same lake a lot, got pretty good at guessing where the fish were. But there still wasn’t all that much pressure for a fish to worry.

Then came technology and technology hath no mercy. The result is a fisherman’s dream and a fish’s nightmare. I wouldn’t be surprised if fish don’t now suffer from a good deal of depression. I mean I have not seen a really happy fish in a loooooong time. I still catch them from the bank and throw them back when I go fishin’. I’ve noticed the one’s I catch look really nervous and edgy, like my boss used to look when sales were down. Didn’t used to be that way. Fish used to be more carefree.

But I digress…

While Christmas shopping online for electronics for the car, the boat, and for hiking, I found a great online store that carries just about all of it. Northeast Marine Electronics is the company. Fishfinders and GPS units, and radar, and binoculars and compasses…just about any kind of electronic gadget for finding stuff is what they’re all about. It’s mostly a marine oriented store but all these electronics come in landlubber versions too. So if you’re having a hard time finding stuff, like fish, or your way back to the marina, or your way back to the truck from your deer stand…check ‘em out. These gadgets make useful Christmas gifts for the person in need of them.

Just don’t think about the fish.

Also filed in Everyday Objects, Nature, Shopping Tips, Technology | | Comments (5) »

Death by Unicycle

15-Nov-06

That’s what would result if I got on one of these things…let alone commute with it. But that’s what this is…a commuter unicycle.

I live in Marietta, Georgia…a suburb of Atlanta. Nothing special about this place. People trudge to work and trudge back on their daily commute. It’s a carbon copy of many other big city suburbs.

But, special things do happen here. Or maybe I should say “unusual” things.

There is a fellow who lives here named John Drummond. He used to ride a unicycle as a kid. For about 20 years it sat idle in his basement, he had outgrown it. Then one day, as an adult, he decided it might be fun to try it again. He quickly realized he would need a new unicycle. But alas, there weren’t any in the area. No stores carried them. What to do?

Well, John decided to start unicycle.com and sell the dang things all over the world. Goodbye IBM, hello Unicycle.com. A bit of an over reaction maybe but it has worked out well.

I just love stories like this. I mean for cryin’ out loud, who’d a thunk it. An international business selling unicycles online from Marietta, GA.? Riiiiiiight. But hey, John and his extended family run the company and apparently it is thriving. I see him noodling around on the local sidewalks occasionally…at least I suppose it’s him, I’ve never met him.

You have to admire the drive it must have taken to get this going…and keep it going (no pun intended). As far as I know, it’s strictly an online business. There is no bricks and mortar store front. But, if you check his website, there are loads of dealers across the USA and Europe. I’d have to say John is the Henry Ford of unicycles. Take an idea and make it big.

As for me…well, I would have to learn to ride one of these inside a rubber room. Otherwise, I would certainly wander off the sidewalk in some deadly direction into traffic. Onlookers would hear a rather squeamish, extended scream coming from my lungs and glimpse an uh-oh look on my face as I flailed my arms and wiggled my butt wildly attempting to get out of the way. It would all be over quickly, but it’s not my idea of a good way to transition to the afterlife.

So, until said rubber room for unicycle training exists, I will steer clear of unicycles.

Also filed in Machines, Stories, Technology | | Comments (8) »

Picking Locks as a Sport

08-Nov-06

There is a new sport. It’s the sport of picking locks. Yes, apparently a bunch of folk are into the sport of picking locks, not for the purpose of breaking and entering, but for…well…the challenge.

They have an International Organization and the link above will take you there. You can download your very own guide to picking locks. Of course you would have no need to download that PDF file unless you were into the sporting aspect of picking locks. Right?

The organization is adamant about members participating purely for sport and not for criminal activity. Hmmmmm…I’m not sure how they would be able to control the temptations in non-members or members that decide to become non-members. They leave that up to the individual I suppose.

The thing I find interesting is that the lock of choice for this sport is the cylinder lock commonly found on the deadbolts that keeps our little homes safe and secure. Spooky isn’t it?

I mean a sport that is based on knowledge and skills that used to be sort of uncommon. Skills and knowledge that can be very tempting to use in a, let us say, nefarious manner. Skills and knowledge that only a locksmith would be privy to.

Bless their hearts though. I remember a Farside Cartoon of two deer. One with a bullseye on his chest. The other deer sheds sympathy on him with the comment “bummer birthmark”. As innocent as these folk probably are, seems big brother would naturally take note of their sport and where they meet. And what with member photos all over their website….well…seems kinda like a bummer birthmark to me.

Also filed in Passing Time | | Comments (0) »