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Category Archives: Stories

French Fry Watch

28-Dec-07

We have a bunch of crows in our neighborhood that wake me up every morning. I’m not appreciating that fact right now because they usually start cawing about an hour or two before I intend to get up.

This has set me to paying attention to crows a bit. I’ve never really watched them much.

Not far from me is a McDonalds…the one that can never get the tea order correct.
I was sitting in the parking lot enjoying my items from the dollar menu…and lo! I spotted a Crow waiting for a french fry.

How do I know he was waiting for a french fry? Because I tossed one out the window and he immediately swooped down and flew off with it.

It suited my mind at the time to believe I had communicated with the Crow in some sort of mental stream of silent man-to-bird consciousness, discerning that he wanted a french fry. And thus I gave to the Crow what he so longed after, fulfilling my repressed feelings of wanting to commune with nature on a level that our Native American brethren must have commanded when they lived here alone on this continent, in the wilderness, centuries ago.

That of course is B.S.
Truth be told, I could have thrown a five pound chuck roast out the window and he would have tried to fly off with it as well. Crows will eat anything.

But hey…it makes for a good story doesn’t it?

Also filed in ACEO Art Cards, Animals, Birds and Such, Landscapes, Nature, Restaurants and Such | | Comments (4) »

Corgi Stare Down

23-Dec-07

Rosie at play.

Yes…she’s playing. Actually she’s resting from play for a few minutes.

It’s still play because she uses these moments to her advantage
to psyche out her nemisis…the sheep.
In a moment she will pop up on all fours and grab ol’ sheepy cross the back
and clamp down for a couple of good loud squeaks.

Then reposition her clamp to the little stubby tail for a good shaking.

There is nothing ol’ sheepy can do.
He is trapped in the stare down.
He can’t move.
He can’t scream.
He can’t breath.
Poor thing can’t even take a fear induced dump.

But hey…most of the time he lives in an air conditioned toy box, free of harassment, with a dozen or so other tortured souls.
It could be worse.

Getting to this stage of play with Rosie involves pre-play and post-play.
Both of which require one human, usually my wife.
My wife is Rosie’s “Jolly Playmate”.
A subject for another entry in the Book of Rosie.

BTW, this one is a spread across two pages of the sketchbook. As with all the illustrations here at Idle Minutes, you can click on it to see a larger version.

Also filed in Animals, Pets, The Book of Rosie | | Comments (8) »

Birthday Leisure Tip

11-Dec-07

Rosie and her modified scratchy-rolly maneuver

As I mentioned in the last post, Rosie had a birthday this past Monday the 10th.
She’s thirteen. That’s uh, ninety-one in human years.

I hope I’m still able to bark as loud as she does when I’m ninety-one.
I also hope I’m still able to chase squirrels,
or at least be annoyed enough to bark at them like she does.
And I hope I’m still able to do the scratchy-rolly maneuver.

What exactly IS the scratchy-rolly maneuver?
She begins by pushing the side of her head into the carpet while walking forward (corgis are quite short legged), then flops the trailing end of her long body over on her back and begins to roll slightly back and forth. Coinciding with this rolly movement is a repeating left-right-left bending of her torso. All of this rolling and bending is done while still on her back and is set to the lyrical groans and noises unique to Welsh Corgis.

This typically goes on for thirty seconds to a minute with a one or two second pause here and there for a light sneeze (also while still on her back). Then she pops up on all fours, sort of freezes in position with a blank stare, and suddenly gives a good hard head shaking sneeze. Lastly, a good shaking from head to rump.

Maneuver completed. Time to do something else. Woofing, barking, racing ’round the couch, or simply going to the bedroom and curling up on the bed…again.

Birthday Modification…
On her birthday, around mid-morning, she performed the standard scratchy-rolly maneuver with one small modification. Instead of popping up and producing the final sneeze and full body shake, she remained on her back…and fell asleep.

What we see here is the modified scratchy-rolly maneuver.

I find this to be an ideal modification for one to make on their birthday scratchy-rolly maneuvers and I intend to incorporate it into my own birthday fun in April.

I learn something from Rosie almost daily.

Also filed in Animals, Pets, The Book of Rosie | | Comments (9) »

Rosie Wants a Head Rub

08-Dec-07

It has been a while since I posted. It’s time I got back at it so here’s a good start.

This is my little dog Rosie. She is a Welsh Corgi. She’ll be thirteen years old on Monday and though she sleeps a lot, she is still quite playful and agile. She is more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

I use a laptop computer. Most mornings I sit down to check my email.
I sit in a chair with my feet upon an ottoman and the laptop on my…um…lap.

Unfailingly, Rosie will quietly toddle over to me and stop under my legs where they create a bridge to the ottoman. She then makes a grumpy little puff from her flues (the corners of her mouth).

I ignore this.

Without moving she puffs a bit louder.

I move the laptop down to my shins, bend my knees apart, and reveal the endearing scene we see here.

With a slight smile I can never restrain, I say “what do YOU want?”

Again without moving or batting an eye, she replies with another, still louder, grumpy puff.

Then I rub her ol’ noggin with both hands, wiggle her big ol’ ears back and forth, bend over and kiss her on the head, and get a double lick on the nose in return.

Having successfully exercised control over her so called “Master”, she toddles off to the bedroom and curls up on the bed for a few hours of napping.

I can’t tell you how many laughs and snickers I’ve had watching this little dog for thirteen years.

I decided to start a sketchbook called the Book of Rosie. This is the first sketch in the book. I’ll post them as I sketch them.

Rosie will be anxious to hear your comments.

Also filed in Animals, Pets, The Book of Rosie | | Comments (7) »

Rose Hips

21-Sep-07

Sorry for the delay in posting. I got tied up in regular life for a bit. Now to resume the travel sketches from Maine…

Everywhere we went in Bar Harbor and Acadia National Park there seemed to be these shrubs with little red thingys on them. I would say they look like itty-bitty tomatoes.

My dear wife enlightened me. They were Rose Hips.

“Why do they call them hips dear?”
“I don’t know. Maybe they look like hips.”
“Good answer dear. I have no idea what you mean by that.”
“Me neither.”

That was the limited discussion we had on the matter. Even so, I was somehow captivated by the little stinkers and decided to sketch them. These were at Thunder Hole, which is a place on the rocky coast where the waves crash into a large pocket in the rocks and create, well, a thunderous noise…I suppose. The tide was out and no thunder was being produced.

Even so, it seemed a place where shrubs of any type might not have an easy life.

With no thunder in the making, I began to observe the effort undertaken by the Park Service to produce the long concrete stairway, worked right into the rocky landscape, right down to the hole itself, complete with a nice viewing deck.

One would no doubt get drenched standing on that deck when thunder production is taking place.

The stairway had a very nice stainless steel railing all the way around it. Very expensive and not the first one, as sawn off rusty nubs of steel posts sat grouted in the rocks beside the existing railing. Evidence of previously failed design and installation.

I admired the effort because with the harsh environment of the salt water and air, even the stainless steel railing suffers from rust and broken welds. In other words, the whole thing was a real design challenge in the first place and remains a maintenance challenge even with the use of stainless steel. But the Park Service thought we citizens would enjoy the ability to get right down on top of such a natural experience and took up the challenge. A fine job they did and still do. You and I would not otherwise be able to safely view and experience first hand “the thunder”. It’s a good thing…and educational thing…and enlightening thing, to get that close to harsh, secret places in nature.

I suppose I should have sketched the stairway, considering all the effort that went into its creation.

But the Rose Hips…they set footing there at Thunder Hole without the aide of the Park Service. They were alive and stable in the same tough environment that the stainless steel was having trouble with. I wished to myself, as I studied them up close along the stair walk, that I was as tough as them. And yet still somehow able to be…rosy.

So I sketched them.

Also filed in Everyday Objects, National Parks, Nature, Travel Sketches | | Comments (12) »

Maine Lobster Roll

11-Sep-07

New England is synonymous with Lobster. Thus, when traveling to New England, particularly the Maine coast, one must partake of lobster in some form or another in order to make the trip complete.

I did so three different ways. The first of which was the “lobsta roll”. Never having heard of such, I was intrigued and could not resist trying one.

By the way, lobsta and lobstah are two ways to spell the local pronunciation of lobster. Some of the advertising and signage even spells it that way. I suspect because they realize they have enhanced the word with their own regional dialect and know that we visitors find it amusing. More power to ‘em if it sells more lobsta!

In Portland there is a lovely waterfront and we found ourselves at the Portland Lobster Company for our first dinner of the trip. It’s a laid back dockside restaurant. If you click the link above, you will see in the photo precisely the position where I sat and ate at the dockside bar overlooking the water.

What I have sketched is the infamous Lobsta Roll, typical of every coastal restaurant we visited in Maine.

Take your garden variety Kroger brand large hot dog bun, lightly toasted…
Add mayo, lettuce and buttered lobsta. (I would like to note that the Portland Lobster Company specifically states on their menu that the lobsta meat is “Fresh picked meat from a one pound lobster”. I suppose there is something special about it being a one pound lobster, though I can’t imagine what. But hey, I’m from Georgia. What the hell do I know?)
Add to this a pile of french fries, a tiny cup of very tasty cole slaw, a lemon wedge and a spare cup of mayo…
Place it all in a little stiff paper “basket” with the lobsta roll in its own little stiff paper wrapper to capture drips while eating.
Price this at $16.99 (which in my book is seventeen friggin dollars!) and you have the most expensive meal you can eat from a stiff paper basket.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. A man's gotta make a livin'. So I don't fault anybody for the price. Lobsta stuff is expensive. And to their credit, it's a lot less expensive in Maine than where I live here in the deep South, and much fresher. A lobsta roll can not be found in the Deep South because:

It wouldn’t be fresh…
It would cost $35!

So there you have it, my first meal in Maine.

I might add that just prior to the $17 lobsta roll I had a cup of lobsta bisque at $7.99 (eight friggin dollars in my book!) which did not fill me up. Thus the lobsta roll was a necessary addition for a weary and hungry traveler. I also had very good iced tea which I think was $2.

For those of you keeping score, that totals up to $27 for my first Maine meal and it was all served on stiff paper with plastic forks and those little napkins that are more akin to toilet paper than napkins. And of course you pick it all up yourself at the “pick-up window” when they set off your little hand held buzzer which is of course a molded red plastic lobster, I mean lobsta, that buzzes and flashes.

The tea refills were free though. I refilled often. It made me feel like I was getting a real value for my money.

I’m not complaining here. The food was very, very good and tasty. The cost was just a big surprise that’s all. Go to Maine prepared to spend money on food. LOTS of money.

Of note here is that my dear wife ate dinner as well. So, add in her $22 total (she had clam chowder and fish and chips, thus saving $5) and you have dinner for two totaling $49 and there was no alcohol purchased. We seriously considered alcohol after realizing what we just spent on dinner.

It was a chilling experience for I feared by the look in my wife’s eyes that we may well be eating at McDonald’s the rest of the trip. Clever cajoling and encouragement to go shopping eased the pain for her though and we dined Maine style for the rest of our adventures throughout the Maine coast. What else can you do eh? It’s a vacation. Gotta enjoy it.

On a Side Note

It came to mind that I need to introduce a new dining sensation here in the Deep South…the Catfish Roll.

Let’s see…the menu can read…

“Catfish meat picked from a fresh 35lb. catfish caught in the cold, deep waters at the foot of the dam on Lake Sidney Lanier.”

A catfish is about as ugly as a lobster so it might just work. I wouldn’t get away with a $17 price tag though. $5.99 maybe…hmmm.

More tomorrow…

Also filed in Foods, Restaurants and Such, Travel Sketches | | Comments (3) »

Sleep Doggy Dog

29-Aug-07

You’ve heard of Snoop Doggy Dog I suppose, the rapper?

Well this is Sleep Doggy Dog. My doggy dog Rosie. Also known as Rosebud, Little Dog, and Bark-a-Lounger.

It occurred to me the other day that in the twelve years Rosie has graced us with her presence, I have sketched her but twice.

That is about to change because I now realize I’ve had a great little subject following me around all these years.

I learn something every time I sketch. Sometimes oddities are revealed to me. This sketch of Rosie revealed an oddity.

You see, at twelve years, Rosie is a really heavy sleeper. The big Corgi ears still work but not as well as a few years ago. And the brain is still playful and sharp but not nearly as prone to keeping watch all the live long day.

As an example, just a few days ago I walked up to her as she slept in this her favorite position. I called her name quietly. Not a stir. I touched her head. Not a stir.
It was not until I rubbed the top of her thick furry neck with a firm hand that she awoke.
Sleep Doggy Dog indeed.

Which brings me to the oddity.

I carefully and quietly sat down on the floor in front of her last night around two in the morning as she slept. I was five feet from her, sketchbook and pen in hand. As usual she was completely zonked out. Not a stir. Not a flicker of a change that indicated I had disturbed her sleep in any way whatsoever.

I sat still for ten or fifteen seconds. Still sound asleep. Deeply asleep. Not a flinch, not a sigh, nothing.

I began sketching her loose and quick and quiet. Scritch, scritch, scratch - the pen making barely audible noises on the grainy watercolor paper.

I got the angle pretty good on the nose and snout then started concentrating on the position of her eyes and…danged if she didn’t wake up!

I froze. How odd! It takes a hard rub on the neck any other time to roust her. I was certain she would just lay there and snooze.

She slowly cracked open her eyes, rolled them up at me for a second or two, then turned and raised her head, and looked at me.

It was a look that said, “If I didn’t know you, I’d bark at you. What the hell are you doin’?”

I am certain it was not the pen on paper noises that woke her. She was awakened from the deepest of sleep by the electricity of me watching her.

I realized at that moment how odd it is that animals, including us, are so sensitive to being watched. Even in a deep, deep sleep our brains tip us off that somebody or something is really checking us out.

It brings to mind the punch line from a joke about the hot and cold “awareness” of a thermos bottle…”How do it know?”

Rosie by the way did not resume her sleep. I continued to sketch her pose from the memory of thirty seconds past. As I did so, she got up, streeeeeetched, toddled the five feet over to me, and gave me three or four licks on the face.

Good doggy dog.