If Santa was a redneck
He’d prob’ly still be kind
Though putting children on his knee
Would not be wise of mind
If Santa was a redneck
His way of spreading cheer
Wouldn’t be with gifts by sleigh
But by Chevy full of beer
If Santa was a redneck
The chimney he’d forego
And leave the beer out on the porch
Where the frigerator goes
If Santa was a redneck
No cookies would we leave
Just a can of Copenhagen
He could roll up in his sleeve
If Santa was a redneck
We’d know it when he came
The belching, scratching, passing gas
There’d be no one else to blame
If Santa was a redneck
Christmas day would be a blast
We’d all sit out upon the porch
And pass around the Pabst
I used to do woodcarvings. Four Christmas Seasons ago, I gave my Mother-in-Law a carving very similar to this angel. The carving doesn’t have the curly-q’s in the hair but other than that, this is a pretty close representation.
Every season, she puts it out on the piano.
The thing I remember most about this carving is the last minute rush of carving the cloud base. I hate it, but I tend to procrastinate. I knew I was going to make a cloud base a full month before I actually did.
I started it about 6 pm the evening before we were heading to the in-laws for Christmas lunch. I finished around 4 am that morning. I got two hours sleep and we headed out. It’s about a 2 hour drive. By the time we finished eating, I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. We opened gifts and I crashed on their couch.
Am I the only nut case who does stuff like that?
Here is the book my carving came from if you’re interested:
There is a new service available for bloggers and advertisers to get together and help each other out in a civilized and unobtrusive way. It’s called Review Me. I’m actually putting my blog to work by reviewing Review Me. If that reads a bit confusing, allow me to explain.
We bloggers love to write, and in my case, draw and sketch as well. Because bloggers constantly produce new, fresh material, advertisers have wondered if perhaps it would give them some good exposure on the Internet to have bloggers review their products and services. The people at Review Me have stepped up to the plate to put advertisers in touch with appropriate bloggers. So, I’m getting paid to review Review Me.
The way I see it, this is a good thing for three reasons:
- Bloggers are not obligated to post positive reviews. Thus, a review is highly likely to be an honest assessment. That makes the advertising trustworthy. Bloggers, like myself, have a high readership that they value. Bloggers won’t award high marks to something that doesn’t deserve it. There is too much risk in alienating their readership.
- Bloggers provide lots of exposure across the Internet for the advertisers. If there are some kinks in the advertisers product or service, then honest reviews will show them what needs fixin’ and they will likely get busy fixin’ it. If the advertiser’s wares are “right on the money” then the exposure will give them the attention and buzz they deserve.
- Bloggers can get paid for providing this intelligent, realistic, viewpoint in a creative way. And that will make bloggers become better bloggers. Better bloggers means better information for everybody and hopefully a reduction in the ginned up, manipulative advertising we’re all sick of anyway.
Now, if you happen to be a blogger, and you would like to put your blog to work, it’s not hard to do. Simply go to Review Me and read all about it. You might just find that the blogging spark is a little easier to fan into a flame.
As always, I will continue to illustrate my posts and my posts will contain the same dry witted, sometimes off the wall angle you’re used to. Honestly, I don’t have a clue how many reviews I’ll have an opportunity to provide. Some I will reject I’m sure. So, I doubt you will see me toodling around in a limo any time soon. So fear not. This is still a blog about daily life and sketching it as it goes by.
In doing further research for Christmas shopping, I was looking for clothing. As I indicated in an earlier post, I like to find items that aren’t so common. I frequently see people on the weekends toodling about wearing scrubs. They look comfortable so I did a little searching to see how hard they were to get hold of. Turns out the link above has ‘em and their website makes it pretty easy to shop for all sorts of medical industry uniforms. I was surprised to see that some of the items don’t even look like scrubs.
So, if you’ve ever had any fantasies of being a surgeon or nurse…well lets don’t go there.
So, if you have a need for scrubs, or just want some to knock around in on the weekends, they are readily available online. My wife likes the “flowery ones”. Me, I like the lab coat look. People in lab coats always look really smart. If the Republicans had campaigned in lab coats, they’d probably still have the House.
Sometimes you just have to draw from your imagination when there’s nothing obvious that inspires you. I saw a greeting card a few years ago with a rabbit wearing a “coat of many carrots”. For some reason it popped into my head as I was thinking about something to sketch. That got me to thinking about gardening. So I put the two together while thinking about the best gardener I know.
My father-in-law has a garden every year, a big one. He has gone to great lengths to keep deer and rabbits from making regular visits to the “Forest Friends All You Can Eat Buffet. As I sketched this, I thought about how he surely must have hollered “get outta my garden!” (plus an expletive or two) many times over the years before he finally came up with a cracker jack solution.
Now he relies on a tall, electrified fence to keep the critters out. They just get a “little tingle” when they touch it. Nothing harmful. The rabbits can’t dig under and the deer can’t jump over.
When they try…..ZZZzzzzzzzttt!! The rabbits high-tail it. But the deer bolt, stop, and then stare at the fence with a look of “wha’ happened?”
One benefit of having a garden that attracts bunnies though, is that he can safely coral them and take them to the best place a bunny could ever hope to be. That would be the Lookout Beagle Club.
No such benefits have yet been discovered for attracting the deer however.
